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By Paul Biba

Thanks to Michael Pastore of EPublishers Weekly for letting me quote this. The original is here. I agree completely. The hyphen is just s-t-u-p-i-d:

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Email is now officially spelled with or without the hyphen: why not ebooks?

The ebook world has plenty of technology; we can use a bit of humor and a dash of art. Here is a poetic parody that gripes about the ludricrous hyphen in the word “e-book”. Written by a man who is unafraid to put his name at the bottom of a beautiful heap of nonsense.

Why the Ex-Perts Call Them E-Books

“You say e-books, and I say ebooks! Let’s call the hyphen off.”
— George and Ira Gershwin

A travesty against our race!
Of every creed and sex —
The adding of the hyphen
By the pompous scholar ex-
Perts, for no other reason
Than to obfuscate the poor
And humble e-book
Which requires nothing more.

“But why not?” ask the ex-
Perts as they while away the hours
Sipping fresh-frapped Capp-
Uccinos in the slippery ivory towers.
“All these lexographic capers
Add a dash of cold romance,
Makes for more grad-student papers,
And more fedly-funded grants.”

See the superfluous hyphen
As it separates the “e” —
From the book’s beloved wife an’
Paper-viewing family.
As we who love this brave new place,
Cannot but stop and think:
O, what a waste of precious space!
O what a waste of ink!

Somewhere in the thankless cold,
A poet longs to e-
At night when all his tales are told
To deaf posterity.
With every lovely line I write —
From heart, and hope, and mind,
The “e” stands all alone at right —
The book is left behind.

—- Michael Pastore

 
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